6/16/14

Someone has said that if anything is repeated often enough… even if it is a lie… it will be believed by many to be true.  This is certainly the case when it comes to divorce statistics.  For years now, we have heard about the 50 per cent divorce rate.  Some have asserted that the divorce rate is the same in the church.  LISTEN FRIENDS: THIS STATISTIC, REPORTED IN THE MEDIA AND REPRESENTED AS CONVENTIONAL WISDOM, IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE!  In fact, it is not even close to the truth.  Those who have shared this information in official communications and personal conversations are contributing to a deep sense of cultural discouragement about marriage.  It is discouragement that is based on a myth!
 
Half of all marriages are not ending in divorce.  According to the Census Bureau, 72 percent of those who have ever been married are still married to their first spouse!  And the 28 percent who aren’t includes everyone who was married for many years until a spouse died.  No one knows what the average first-marriage divorce rate is, but based on the rate of widowhood and other factors, we can estimate it is probably closer to 20-25 percent.  For all marriages [including second marriages] it is in the 31-35 percent range.
 
So-called expert demographers project that 40-50 percent of couples will get divorced – but it is important to remember that those are projections.  But, in fact, divorce rates continue to drop, not rise!  This good news, that most marriages last a lifetime, urgently needs to become conventional wisdom.  And the myth that must be debunked is the notion that the divorce rate is the same in the church.  The Barna Group studies focused on those with Christian and non-Christian belief systems and didn’t take worship attendance into account.  If a person was in church last week, their divorce rate dropped another 27 percent! Overall, regular church attendance lowers the divorce rate anywhere from 25-50 percent, depending on what study you looks at.  So as a pastor, I can confidently stand before our church and assert four truths:
 
1] “Faithfully attendance and involvement in church matters for your marriage!”
2] “Most people get through the hard times, and you can too.”
3] “Your liberal college professors who say, ‘Why bother getting married,’ and your impressionable young peers who are routinely living together have bought the lie.”
4] Divorce isn’t the greatest threat to marriage… discouragement is.”
  
Special thanks to Harvard-trained social researcher, Shaunti Feldman, for opening our eyes to the truth regarding marriage.
 
Special thanks to Andy Stanley for his new book, The Good News About Marriage, that sets the record straight.
 
Let’s talk it up.
 
Pray with me… Father God, all truth is Your truth, starting with Your Word and including the true truth that is out there in the marketplace today.  We know that Satan is the father of lies.  And his lies constantly seduce people to believe and practice that right is wrong and wrong is right.  If he can’t capture a soul with an assault on their morality, he will resort to his fallback strategy… discouragement.  We not ignorant of his ways and we resist him in the power of Jesus’ name.  Amen.

God Bless,
Pastor Ken

6/9/14

I am always amazed, but less often amused, by the way some people tend to create an afterlife in their own image or from their own imagination.  Even Ivy League-educated people will sometimes express the most speculative and cavalier attitudes toward the critical issue of where they are bound after death.  For example, USA Today reported a startling quote from Michael Bloomberg, the three-consecutive term Mayor of New York City and the 16th richest person in the world.  He was musing on the ‘pearly gates’ in a recent interview when he said, “I am telling you if there is a God, when I get to heaven I’m not stopping to be interviewed.  I am heading straight in.  I have earned my place.”  Though nobody knows exactly what goes on in heaven, it’s probably not like a New York City nightclub where you blow past the bouncer because you are a big deal, a high roller or a power broker with only a few peers. Bloomberg, even if only half serious, is in deep trouble with that attitude. 
 
James 4:6, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 
 
James 4:10, “Humble yourselves before the Lord; he will lift you up.”
 
Philippians 2:7,8,9-11, “[Jesus] made himself nothing…humbled himself… God exalted him to the highest place… that… every knee should bow… and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord…”
 
Pray with me… Father, the character trait You most desire to see in us is the one that was dynamically lived out by Jesus… from his birth in a barn to his death on a cross … It is humility.  We pray for a Bethlehem/Calvary core to our faith.  In Jesus’ name, amen.

Blessings,
Pastor Ken

6/2/14

There is a rather curious command in verse 7 of I Peter 3 that is related to both the domestic health of a marriage and the spiritual health of a husband.  “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”  This is not a difficult verse of scripture to understand.  It clearly states that if a husband is inconsiderate and disrespectful of his wife, he will have trouble with his prayer life.  His prayers will be hindered.  So, how does that happen?  I think the clear implication is that God will not hear, nor will He heed, the thoughtless and insensitive husband’s prayers. 

No big surprise here.  I get this.  I am a father with two daughters.  Thank the Lord, both of my sons-in-law are gentle men and treat our daughters kindly.  But think of it this way: A son-in-law, who is emotionally and verbally abusive of his wife, goes to her father, his father-in-law, to ask for a loan to buy himself a new pick up truck.  How do you think that would go over?  Listen, if I’m father of a mistreated and discontented wife, I would not give my son-in-law the time of day.  He would not get a favor from me; he might get a flogging… I conclude that, as a father with my daughters, I am a lot like God with His daughters! 

Bottom line: Any man who treats his wife badly, will definitely answer to her Heavenly Father, and possibly her earthly father.  Pray with me…

Father God, We praise you for being vigilant.  We praise you for being compassionate.  We praise you for being a God who has built Your wrath against sin into this life and the life to come.  In the name of Jesus, amen. 

Blessings,
Pastor Ken 

5/27/14

Someone has wisely said, “Before marriage, opposites attract.  After marriage, opposites attack!”  There is some truth to this.  The traits that attract us to the other person during courtship are often the traits we don’t see in ourselves… but would like to.  Those very same traits can be a source of annoyance after marriage.  The capacities of our life mate tend to be distinct from the capacities we possess.  And these differences can become the basis for conflict in marriage.  Or, you can adjust your mindset and discover that these differences have the potential to be endearing, making your mate a ‘helper suitable for you.’  [Genesis 2:18]
 
For example, I like to throw things away; my wife likes to keep things until we are absolutely sure we won’t use them.  I am often uninhibited; she is easily embarrassed.  I am a morning person; she [used to be] a night person.  She is a planner; I am spontaneous.  She is more conservative; I am a risk-taker.  She is a butterfly; I am a buffalo.  I am not sure exactly when it was that I discovered our particular spiritual gifts, personality differences and the differences in our love languages.  But, I can tell you that… years ago… when I got it… it was an eye-opener! And the discovery opened up for me an understanding of what my wife contributes to our marriage that truly completes me. 
 
Pray with me… Father, you have made us male and female, introverts and extroverts, with different wiring in our temperaments, personalities and spiritual gifting… even in the love language we express to others and receive from others.  Help us to accept one another as husbands and wives, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, family and friends, especially friends in the bond of Jesus Christ, in whose name we pray, amen.

Blessings,
Pastor Ken

5/19/14

I started Bible College as an 18-year old young man with the dream of one day being able to open the Word of Life and connect with people’s deepest needs as a preacher/counselor.  That was a primary goal.  But, another less often stated component of my personal vision for the future was to meet and marry my soul mate along the way.  I didn’t talk openly about being on the prowl for a future wife; since that gives the impression that you are desperate.   At the same time, I prayed a lot about it.  Well, here I am, preparing for a new series of messages on Christian marriage called, “We-Harmony”, and I’m looking back and remembering…
 
I remember the big guy who roomed across the hall from me, who often complimented his kid sister.  That was unusual!  I listened and learned that she was a junior in high school, that she was active in the youth group at her church, that she played the piano and sang, that she took care of her grandmother who lived in their home, that she liked to help her mother cook and that she was organized and made good grades.  One day I asked him if he might have a picture of his sister.  He pulled it out to show me.  I looked at it and said to him, “I’m going to be your brother-in-law some day.”  It got a good laugh. 
 
Now, flash ahead… it’s two years later, I have returned to the campus for my junior year.  Orientation week has just concluded for the new freshmen.  As I passed through the lobby of the women’s residence hall, my dorm mate motioned me over and introduced me to the girl in the picture, his little sister.  For me, it was love at first sight.  As I walked out into the night air, I looked up into the heavens and said out loud, “Lord, she is the one, now help me win her heart.”  It took me about two months of thoughtful and creative courting.  I proposed marriage on October 31^st and, in the process, I gave her the worst scare she has ever had on Halloween night.  Actually, she did say yes.  So, I went to “meet the parents” in Quincy, IL at Thanksgiving to give them the good news that the daughter they sent off to college just a few weeks earlier had met Mr. Wonderful and wanted to get married a year from Christmas.  I believe her mother’s first words were…. “OH, NO!”  Her father was actually pretty agreeable and even suggested that we consider moving the date up from Christmas the next year to August.  Her mother responded to him, and I believe these were her exact words…. “Wilbur, SHUT UP!” 
 
But, the story has a happy ending.  Kaylene’s response to my relentless love was to voluntarily give me her heart in lifelong commitment.  And friends… that is exactly the response our Heavenly Father desires from us.  James 4:5 says “He yearns jealously over the [human] spirit He has placed within us.”  His relentless love for each of us should elicit truehearted and wholehearted commitment to Him while we live, in anticipation of the experience of sitting down at the wedding feast of the Lamb in heaven one day.  The most sensible and logical verse in all the Bible is I John 4:19, “We love [Him and one another] because He first loved us.”
 
Pray with me… Father God, you are the one who models more than any other what it means to make a total commitment to love and serve.  You have been faithful to love and serve your people in ages past, just as You do in the present and forever.  Though it overwhelms us to know it… it is tremendously satisfying and comforting.  In our marriage and family relationships may we demonstrate the same kind of committed love.  We want to live a life without regrets.  To experience life at its best, we know we must extend committed love to You, to our family, to our church and to the world that Jesus loved so much, He gave His life.  In His name we pray… amen.

Blessings,

Pastor Ken

5/12/14

Christian songwriter, Matthew West, has some profound lyrics in his newest piece called, “Do Something.”

“I woke up this morning
Saw a world full of trouble now
Thought how’d we ever get so far down
And how’s it ever gonna’ turn around
So I turned my eyes to Heaven
I thought God why don’t you do something

Well I just couldn’t bear the thought of
People living in poverty
And children sold into slavery
The thought disgusted me
So I shook my fist at Heaven
Said God why don’t You do something

And He said, I did
I created you

If not us then who
If not me and you
Right now it’s time for us to do something
If not now then when
Will we see an end
To all this pain
It’s not enough to do nothing
It’s time for us to do something

Pray with me… Omnipotent God, you have filled us with Your Spirit so we can reflect your holiness and so we can do something on earth for heaven’s sake.  So, get us up, move us out to steward our days for You.  In Jesus’ name, amen.

Blessings,
Pastor Ken

5/5/14

Richard Sherman, along with his late brother, Robert, was a prolific songwriter for the Walt Disney Company and wrote songs for more than twenty-five Disney movies.  The siblings wrote many of the studio’s most popular songs.  The recent film Saving Mr. Banks, about the making of Mary Poppins, has brought Richard back into the spotlight.  He has many memories of Walt Disney and how he worked.  In an interview, Sherman said Disney rarely ever displayed a temper.  He went on to say that what Disney hated most was interacting with a negative person.  “In ‘story’ meetings, when we were working on a film and someone would look at a sequence and say, ‘I just don’t like it,’ and blow his top… Disney would say, ‘If you don’t have a way to improve it, keep your mouth shut.  Anybody can say I don’t like something.  Give me something to make it better!’”

It’s true what Jesus said in Matthew 12:34, “…For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”  What we have stored up in our heads and hearts finds its way into our speech.  And what we talk about, in turn, influences whether we make good or bad decisions and order or disorder our lives.  The control of our thoughts, accentuating the positive and eliminating the negative, is where personal self-control begins.  Then…the control of our tongue is where it must end.  Because after that…it is out of our control.  So, remember Ephesians 4:29, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Pray with me… Father God, we want to be good ambassadors for Jesus Christ, so keep us positive in our thoughts, words and behavior… in every life situation we encounter from day to day.  In Jesus’ name, amen.

Blessings,
Pastor Ken