4/30/12

Last week Kaylene and I were in Joplin, MO, visiting our 91 and 93-year-old mothers, both of whom are residents at Spring River Christian Village. On Tuesday, I enjoyed a 90-minute lunch with a lifelong friend and accountability partner, Nolan Head. Just over 24 hours later, on Wednesday evening, I received a call that Nolan’s wife, Jill, found him dead in their back yard late that afternoon. He had been cutting wood and suffered a massive heart attack. Efforts by EMT’s to resuscitate were unsuccessful. Nolan was 67 years old. For the next 48 hours I experienced what I can only describe as involuntary denial. I could hardly take it in. It was surreal; but it was indeed a reality. Sunday we returned to Joplin to attend church, eat lunch with the family and attend the visitation. Monday [yesterday] morning I conducted my friend’s funeral and gravesite services. We drove home to Indiana last evening.

Reflecting on what turned out to be our last meeting, I realize now, that whether he or I knew it at the time, Nolan was saying good-bye. He embraced me both when we greeted and parted. [He kissed me on the cheek! The only other man to ever kiss my cheek is my father!] Nolan not only bought my lunch, but he also bought the lunch of two ladies at an adjacent table. He noticed that one was obviously distraught and the other was providing her spiritual counsel. He gave me an autographed copy of his recently published book on The Chronicles of a Young George Washington. He told me that my/my families’ friendship had changed his life and how much I/my mother meant to him. Nothing was left unsaid. It was a good, deep, spiritual conversation.

Nolan grew up with an alcoholic mother and five different ‘stepfathers.’ His biological father abandoned his mother and moved to the Pacific Northwest before Nolan was even born. He was haunted by the fact that he could pass his own father on the street and not know him. He grew up deprived of real love and literally fighting for survival. We became friends in high school where we played pony league baseball against each other. Then before his senior year and my junior year, our schools consolidated to become St. Joseph-Ogden High School. The next year we played football on the same team. He was frequently in the Idleman home for meals and occasionally stayed for several days at a time. During that year Nolan gave his life to the Lord. I was the only person present to witness his baptism. From that time on, we became accountability partners pledging to keep each other on the straight and narrow. After high school, he went to work at Kraft Foods. The next year I enrolled in Bible College. Nolan enlisted in the Air Force. We were separated by time and circumstance during his military service and a couple of years he spent in a ‘far country’ [spiritually] after the Viet Nam War. Meanwhile, I was finishing my education and getting married.

The summer of 1970, Nolan hitchhiked to Mt. Pulsaki, IL, where I was pastor of a church and commuting to grad school. One of our elders gave him a job and I gave him $2 for a badly needed haircut. He began to work and save. In the fall he enrolled in Lincoln Christian College and was immediately elected freshman class president. There he met and married his wife, Jill. They served on the mission field in Australia and later served churches in Florida, Oklahoma, Illinois and Kansas before moving to the Joplin area. Their sons, Nathan and Tim both graduated from Ozark Christian College, married and are in youth ministry today. He was the proud grandfather of two grandsons. Nolan’s family was his crowning achievement in life. His death was untimely for all of us who knew and loved him; but it was timely for him. He was so ready for the greater life. And, in a final act of love and generosity, so characteristic of Nolan, he willed his physical body to save or enhance the lives of others. His eyes, all his large bones and the skin on his back were all harvested for needy people.

Two life lessons from my friend:

1] Give better than you got! Though his life was disordered as a young boy, when the love and grace of God became real to Nolan, he recognized it and received it and was wonderfully saved! Starting then, he graphed in an entirely new branch on his family tree. He was determined, with God’s help and blessing, to one day have a marriage and family that would honor God. His home was the polar opposite of what he had experienced growing up. His wife got a loyal and truthful husband. His sons got an attentive and faithful dad.

2] Love the right things in the right order!  Nolan loved Jesus and talked about the Lord easily in any company. He loved the Bible and read and referenced it regularly. He loved his wife and sons and daughters in law and grandsons…. They were always his priority in time and attention. He loved the church…. The evidence was in his faithful worship, serving and giving. This is the essence of a successful life! One that is lived for the Lord and for others in His name. If you do not love the right things in the right order, your life will be a failure….

Pray with me…. Father God, you are the author of life. You are the author and finisher of our faith. Your presence, living in us by Your Holy Spirit, is what makes our lives influential and impactful. Lord, help us write the epitaph we want on our tombstones some day - as we live our lives today. Empower us to live in such a way that every thought that others have of us while attending our funeral prompts joy and hope in our loved ones in the midst of sorrow and loss. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.

Blessings,
Pastor Ken

3/18/13

Last week it was reported that Republican Senator Rob Portman has reversed his stance on same-sex marriage after learning that his son is gay.  Portman said that this son, who is a junior at Yale University, inspired him to reassess his position on same sex unions.  “The overriding message of love and compassion that I take from the Bible, and certainly the Golden Rule… has influenced my change on this issue,” Portman said.   This breaking news about a man who was seriously considered as a vice-presidential running mate for presidential hopeful, Mitt Romney, just over a year ago, reminded me of a disconcerting event that happened during my teen years.  An elder in our church resigned to join a cult [Jehovah’s Witnesses].   His stated reason for making the change?  His only daughter was in a serious love relationship with a JW boy, and, in the likely event of their marriage, he wanted the family to be united religiously.

Both of these accounts highlight what has become a serious moral problem in our post-Christian society… fathers who lead from the rear, fathers who ‘re-act’ instead of ‘pro-act,’ fathers who lead from a position of accommodation… in short, fathers who do not lead from conviction.  In both of these real life illustrations, the fathers had previously professed strong moral/doctrinal convictions, which is commendable.  But, they caved in.  They compromised what was once very important to them.  This emotional dependence on their children’s good will trumped their convictions. They renounced their convictions, and in the process lost their moral authority to lead.  Not a good trade.

Pray with me… Our Father in heaven, we know that truth without love can be thoughtless and cruel, but love without truth has no foundation, no content.  May we love as Jesus loves, and lead as Jesus leads, with conviction… maintaining loyalty to what it right and true.  In the name of Jesus, who is the Truth, we pray, amen.

Blessings,
Pastor Ken

3/11/13

Dallas Willard was a child when his mother passed away unexpectedly.  He reflects that most every night for weeks after that personal crisis, he toddled into his dad’s bedroom to ask if he could get in bed with him.  His loving father was a man of few words.  But, when he promised to sleep on his side with his face turned towards his son, Dallas said he felt secure enough to doze off again.  He writes: “We can get by with a Heavenly Father who does not speak as long as we know he is there and his face is turned toward us.”

And that is exactly what is recorded in Numbers 6:26, “The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”  This is actually a prayer of Moses for God’s people.  Isn’t it wonderful to know that God watches over us, guides us and protects us 24/7?  In fact, the most common promise in the Bible is, “I will be with you.”  It is the one God made to Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Sarah, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Mary and Paul to name just a few!  God constantly reminded his people that He was with them through the tangible presence of the Tabernacle, the Ark of the Covenant, the manna in the wilderness, the pillar of cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night to guide them in their wilderness wanderings.  Just like He is reminding you as you read these words today, “Do not be afraid or discouraged… The Lord… is with you.” Be at peace today, God has his face turned toward you!

Pray with me… Our loving Father, we thank and praise you that you have spoken to us through your Son, the living Word, and the Bible, your written Word.  These are the anchors for our souls!  And we are even more secure and at peace just knowing that your face is turned towards each of us.  Thank you for pursuing us and protecting us from the things we cannot handle.  And thank you for your all-sufficient grace that sustains us day by day.  In Jesus’ name, amen.




Blessings,
Pastor Ken

3/4/13

Have you ever gone to a restaurant with someone whose meal cost $10, and watched them struggle over the tip?  They have $2 in change, and they know that leaving just $1 might be thought of as stingy.  Yet, do they leave $2?  Not on your life!  That would be too much.  Instead they’ll waste five minutes getting change for that second dollar so they can leave $1.50 tip and save themselves $.50, rather than to sow generously by leaving a little extra.  What would have happened if they’d left the full $2?  They would have made the server’s day.  Fifty cents may not seem like much, but the message that goes along with it can mean the world to someone.  I have a good friend who was out to eat recently.  He noticed that his server was in need of dental care.  He also discovered, in brief conversation, she was working out of necessity as the main provider for her needy family.  Although my friend’s lunch was under $10, he left her a $20 tip.  As he exited the restaurant, she ran after him and, with tears, thanked him for his generosity.

2 Corinthians 9:6 declares, “Whoever sows generously will also reap generously.”  Part of reaping generously is that we get to increase the joy of others, and, in the process, we bless ourselves.  This is just one tiny example of the many ways in which the small things we do have surprisingly big repercussions.  Here is the thing… God only tells us to do things that will put us in a place to be blessed by Him.  He wants to bless us, and He will… in proportion to our obedience.  And generously sowing our money, time, attention and energy in the lives of others, for God's purpose, puts us in the position to reap generously.

Pray with me… Our Father, make us like you, bighearted and open-handed.  In our best moments we desire to bless and be blessed.  Make it the rhythm of our Christian lives, we pray in Jesus’ name.  Amen.

Blessings,
Pastor Ken

2/25/13

The great Scottish essayist and historian Thomas Carlyle married his secretary, Jane Welsh.  She continued to work for him, but when she became ill, Carlyle, who was deeply devoted to his work, didn’t seem to notice, so he allowed her to keep working.  But she had cancer and eventually was confined to bed.  Although Carlyle truly loved her, he found that he didn’t have much time to stay with her or much attention to give her.  Then she died.  After the funeral Carlyle went to Jane’s room, noticed her diary lying on the table, picked it up and began to read.  On one entire page she’d written just a single line:  “Yesterday he spent an hour with me and it was like heaven: I love him so much.”  A reality he had somehow been too blind to see was now revealed with crushing clarity.  He’d been too preoccupied with his work and simply failed to notice her.  He hadn’t seen her suffering.  He hadn't been sensitive to her longing love.  Turning to the next page, he read words he’d never forget: “I’ve listened all day to hear his footsteps in the hall, but now it’s late and I guess he won’t come today.”  He put her diary back on the table and ran out of the house.  Friends found him at the side of his wife’s grave, covered with mud.  His eyes were red from weeping as he repeated the phrase over and over again: “If only I’d known… If only I’d known!” After Jane’s death, Carlyle made little attempt to write again.

Ephesians 5:1-2, “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us…”

Pray with me… Dear Jesus, we do not want You to have to wait for us and neither do we want to fail to communicate our love to the people in our lives who need our time, our words, our acts of kindness, our gifts or our touch.  In Your dear Name we pray, amen.

Blessings,
Pastor Ken

2/18/13

Psychologist Philip Zimbardo describes drug addiction as ‘wanting more,’ but some guys today have what he calls arousal addiction, always ‘wanting something different.’  A never-ending stream of stimulation is behind the growing failure of males to succeed academically or to connect with women socially.  Some men are dropping out of the deep and abiding joys of real life, trading them instead for excitement and fantasy.

Zimbardo cites excessive internet use, video gaming and online pornography as causes of this new addiction.  By age 21, boys have spent over 10,000 hours gaming, two-thirds of that time in isolation.  The average young adult male accesses pornography 50 times a week.  “Boys’ brains are being digitally rewired in a totally new way, for change, novelty, excitement and constant arousal,” Zimbardo says.  “They’re totally out of sync in traditional classrooms, which are analog, static and interactively passive.  And they’re totally out of sync in their personal relationships, which naturally build more gradually and subtly.  This is creating a generation of young men who do not connect well in teaching situations and who lack social skills, especially with women.”  Can you also see the implications for church life?  Worship does not have enough entertainment value or engagement in physical activity.  Bible teaching requires sitting still or sitting under another, submission to the learning process, dictated by another.  Meditation is too quiet and still.  We think we need more movement, more involvement.  Holiness is just not exciting enough.  It does not satisfy the curiosity or produce the sensual excitement that the I-phone, the I-pad or the computer can supply.  But, Psalm 46:10 calls us back to a life of quiet reflection and regular devotion, “Be still, and know that I am God….”

Do you, your son, visit this place daily?  Often?  Occasionally?  At all?

Blessings,
Pastor Ken

2/11/13

Reader’s Digest wrote of the late Harvey Penick: “For 90-year-old golf pro Harvey Penick, success has come late.  His first golf book, Harvey Penick’s Little Red Book, has sold more than a million copies, which his publisher believes makes it one of the biggest things in the history of sports books.  His second book, And If You Play Golf, You’re My Friend, has already sold nearly three-quarters of a million copies.”

But anyone who imagines Penick wrote the books to make money doesn’t know the man.  In the 1920’s Penick bought a red spiral notebook and began jotting down observations about golf.  He never showed it to anyone except his son until 1991, when he shared it with a local writer/friend and asked if he thought it was worth publishing.  The man read it and told him yes.  He left word with Penick’s wife the next evening that Simon and Schuster had agreed to an advance of $90,000.  When the man saw Penick later, the old man seemed troubled.  Finally Penick came clean.  “With all our medical bills,” he said, “there is no way we could advance Simon and Schuster that much money.”  The writer had to explain to Penick that he would be the one to receive the $90,000.

People often have Penick’s reaction to the lavish gift of forgiveness and salvation offered in Jesus Christ.  We ask, “What must I do?”  God answers, “It’s already been done.  Just believe it and receive it.”

Pray with me… Father, thank You so much for the ‘whoevers’ in Your Word.  “Whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.”  And, “Whoever believes in Jesus shall not perish but have everlasting life.”  “Whoever will come to the Waters of Life and drink deeply.”  Thank you for loving us first and sending Jesus to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins… and not for our sins only but also the sins of the whole world.  We are free indeed.  In the name of the Son, even Jesus, we pray.  Amen

Blessings,
Pastor Ken