Someone has wisely said, “Before marriage, opposites attract. After marriage, opposites attack!” There is some truth to this. The traits that attract us to the other person during courtship are often the traits we don’t see in ourselves… but would like to. Those very same traits can be a source of annoyance after marriage. The capacities of our life mate tend to be distinct from the capacities we possess. And these differences can become the basis for conflict in marriage. Or, you can adjust your mindset and discover that these differences have the potential to be endearing, making your mate a ‘helper suitable for you.’ [Genesis 2:18]
For example, I like to throw things away; my wife likes to keep things until we are absolutely sure we won’t use them. I am often uninhibited; she is easily embarrassed. I am a morning person; she [used to be] a night person. She is a planner; I am spontaneous. She is more conservative; I am a risk-taker. She is a butterfly; I am a buffalo. I am not sure exactly when it was that I discovered our particular spiritual gifts, personality differences and the differences in our love languages. But, I can tell you that… years ago… when I got it… it was an eye-opener! And the discovery opened up for me an understanding of what my wife contributes to our marriage that truly completes me.
Pray with me… Father, you have made us male and female, introverts and extroverts, with different wiring in our temperaments, personalities and spiritual gifting… even in the love language we express to others and receive from others. Help us to accept one another as husbands and wives, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, family and friends, especially friends in the bond of Jesus Christ, in whose name we pray, amen.
Blessings,
Pastor Ken
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