Monday, October 19, 2015


A good friend recently asked me to condense Kaylene’s and my marriage of 47 years into a series of succinct ‘charges’ that he could share with his daughter and soon-to-be son in law during their upcoming wedding ceremony.  I gave it my best shot.  I needed 7… that’s God’s perfect number.  My qualifier here is that no marriage between two flawed people can be perfect!  But even though it can’t be perfect, it can still be great!  So…
Love each other…I am talking about a rare commodity these days.  I am talking about committed love.  This is a love that closes off any escape hatches with the dogged determination by both that one day ‘we will die in each other’s arms’ [or, at least, each commit to pushing the other’s wheel chair].
Tell the truth to each other…It is easy to tell the other person what they want to hear or what makes you look good in their eyes.  But love requires respect, respect requires trustworthiness and trustworthiness requires telling the truth.  There should not be secrets between soul mates.
Forgive each other…Hurting your husband or wife may be unavoidable, but it should never be intentional.  And, when an offense happens, whether accidental or on purpose, whether a little slight or a big disappointment; extending grace is vital.
Pray for each other…Bonding cannot help but happen in the process of thanking God for all that you love about your mate or interceding before the throne of grace for all that you would like to see change in your mate. 
Be patient with each other…Allow time and room to grow in the years ahead.  Before marriage, opposites will often attract.  After marriage, opposites will often attack.  Don’t let it happen to you!
Serve each other…Life will have hard passages that are unseen/unknown to you both on your wedding day.  In the little ways and through the big trials, think of the other first.  Home is where each lives for the other and both live for God. 
Have fun with each other…Christian marriage is called the ‘grace of life’ in I Peter 3:7.  In other words, God’s will is that the deepest and best experiences in life be experienced in the context of a God-honoring marriage and a Christian family.  That has to include enjoying life together.  Play nice and play as often as you responsibly can. 
Above all, love Jesus above all.  This is a ‘top-button truth.’  If you get it right, the other things in your life and marriage will line up as they should to honor God and bless you both!
Pray with me…Father God, sometimes Christian marriage and family life is an unsurpassable joy; sometimes it is just a lot of hard work.  But in whatever season, and in whatever circumstances, we want to both bring our best and submit to Your best.  Give us your grace in our time of need.  We pray in the Name of Jesus, the Bridegroom of His Bride, the church, amen.

Pastor Ken

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